Last night was an incredibly painful day for me, physically, emotionally, and even spiritually.
I went to a Bachelorette party for a close friend and experienced the bitter sting of a broken relationship. One of the other guests and I had a falling out years ago, and I was almost depressed to see that after so long, the sin among two sisters was alive and well. We couldn’t sit at the same table, we couldn’t say hello to one another, we couldn’t even make eye contact. In a room of 15 people, together for about 5 hours, we somehow managed to completely ignore each other and act as though the other girl didn’t exist.
It broke my heart that two believing, God-fearing sisters have not been able to reconcile. So I sat there in pain, all night, very well aware that we live in a fallen world. Desperately praying for God to take away my pain, to heal my broken heart.
We left the bachelorette party around 10pm, and decided to head back to the bride-to-be’s apartment to finish off the night with a movie and some wine. I had given a ride to two other girls, so I went to drop them off before heading back to the party. After I dropped off the last girl, I turned the corner and was t-boned on the driver-side by another vehicle.
As soon as my car stopped spinning I attempted to get out of the car to make sure everyone in the other car was alright, but I couldn’t get out. My door was completely smashed in, my legs stuck underneath the wheel. I began to weep, as I saw the shattered glass all around the street in front of me. I tried to remain faithful, but all I could muster was frustration towards God. I finally started to crawl out from financial difficulties, and two totaled cars later I felt my dreams of leaving for Africa in July fly out my broken front windshield. Spiritually, I was in pain.
After a few panicked minutes I realized if I could shimmy my legs out from under the wheel I could crawl out from the passenger side door. I made it out just as the police and ambulance arrived. Adrenaline pumping, they escorted me to the ambulance, completely unaware my ankles were swollen, burnt, and bleeding. The EMT bandaged me up and when I stubbornly declined a trip to the hospital to be checked out further, they let me out of the ambulance and I began trying to search for God in my car accident.
So I cried out to him, “What do you want me to learn from this God? What was this for? Those girls didn’t really need a ride, so clearly this was all a part of your sovereign plan, but why?”
And as the ambulance drove away I was left alone, sitting on a dark curb, tears streaming down my face, unbelief in my heart, desperately praying for God to take away my pain; to heal my broken spirit.
When I got home later that night, the physical pain finally set in. The adrenaline was gone and I became very aware that my body had just gone through something brutal. It hurt to walk up the stairs, it hurt to be hugged. Two beautiful women came over with ice packs, aloe for my burns, a heating pad for my aching back, and a bottle of ibuprofen. And as I lay there on my bedroom floor, in too much pain to move, I desperately prayed once more for God to take away my pain; to heal my broken body.
God is the god of all comfort (2 Cor 1:3-4), but that doesn’t mean he ends our suffering. It’s like counseling, people come into my office all the time because they want me to make their pain stop, but that’s not my job. My job is to empathize with them, to offer them support and comfort, and to help them understand how to be victorious in the midst of pain.
God is our counselor. So often we come to him with bruised egos, pierced hearts, damaged legs, and we ask Him to take away our pain, (and unlike me, God could if He wanted to), but more often than not, he does just what counselors do, He comforts us by sitting with us in the pain, not by taking it away.
So long as we inhabit this earth, there will always be more pain. Pain was brought into this world very early on. It’s easy to look at the creation story and see all good things; God created the heavens and the earth (Genesis 1:1), the sun and the moon (1:16), day and night (1:5), the sea (1:10). But after the fall, the curse of Adam and Eve brought a few uglier things into our world; sin and enmity between men and women (3:14-17), death (3:19), and of course, pain (3:17).
What I love, and what gives me hope, is that the end of days is the complete opposite to the beginning of days. When Christ comes again, the first heaven and earth will pass away (Revelation 21:1), there’ll be no sun or moon (21:23), no night (22:5), no sea (21:1), no sin/enmity (22:3), no more death (21:4), and my personal favorite… no more pain (21:4).
No matter how hard we fight, some relationships in our lives (even with other believers) will remain broken. Some of us, like Job, will lead a hard life with countless hardships, and we will struggle to hold steadfastly to the Lord. Some of us will experience chronic pain in our bones, or joints, or lungs. But rest assured, brothers and sisters, there will be a day…
“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”
