Mary of Bethany is a well-loved woman of the Bible. Like many of our pillars of faith, we give her great accolades for the way she loves and follows Jesus. She shocked even the disciples by anointing his feet with expensive oils and wiping them with her hair. But, like so many our favorite Bible characters, we miss one of the best parts of her story. In a culture obsessed with success, we often miss the times (and lessons we can learn) when the extraordinary are just… ordinary.
Most people know that Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead, but the rest of the story seems to be more of an opening act to the main event. People sort of pay attention, they may hear a thing or two they like, but that’s not why they’re there. It’s like the old covenant in Hebrews; it is “but a shadow of the good things to come.” (Hebrews 10:1)
But God created everything, even shadows. And what are shadows but a place where the sun (Son) cannot reach because some other object is blocking its light?
For some context, Mary and Martha are sisters, their brother Lazarus is ill. And so they send an urgent message to their friend Jesus to come and heal him.
Now, we’ll start with one of the most confusing verses in the Bible: “Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So when he heard that Lazarus was ill, he stayed two days longer in the place where he was.” John 11:5-6 (emphasis added by yours truly)
What?! These verses clearly show how much Mary, Martha, and Lazarus meant to Jesus, it says he loved them! What throws me is verse 6. When he heard, he stayed two days longer. He just waited, for 48 hours, while a man whom he loved was dying… Sometimes I think my Bible has typos. Shouldn’t it say, “When he heard that Lazarus was ill he left immediately for Judea.”?
Alas, as this thought enters my mind I look up and see the fresh post-it I affixed to my desk late last night. “I will believe what the Bible says, not what I want it to say.”
And my sad confusion is certainly nothing compared to what Mary felt. Here she has spent a good deal of time listening to Jesus and the disciples talk about all the people who have been healed, all the lame made able, all the blind who can now see. But, when Jesus’ own friends, people whom he loves, need a miracle, He doesn’t come.
I can only imagine the disappointment Mary felt. This amazing woman of faith, waiting by Lazarus’ bedside, assuring him help was on the way, fully believing with all her heart that Jesus was going to walk in at any moment to save the day. And then he doesn’t…
This is where our heroine Mary falls out of character. She’s not the strong woman wiping Jesus’ feet with her hair. No, here she falls to the floor sobbing, and chides Jesus saying, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”
Mary’s grief was more than the loss of her beloved brother, she was disappointed with Jesus. Can you imagine the devastating blow of not only losing a family member, but also the loss of hope in your Savior?
We’ve all felt this same disappointment. We suffer a loss and not only grieve the loss itself, but we struggle with the thought that God could have prevented it, if only he weren’t too late. He could have healed, fixed, provided. But he didn’t. We prayed our hearts out, rallied friends together in prayer, but the seconds waiting turned to minutes, which turned to hours. And then days. Conditions worsened, and still… no sign of him.
When Jesus finally arrives, it’s been four days. The funeral has already happened, Lazarus is long-sicne dead. His lifeless body has already been sealed in a tomb.
Jesus’ actions don’t make sense. Then again, that’s what makes us take a closer look at him. Like Mary had to do.
Now, when I read about Mary falling at Jesus’ feet, sobbing, probably half yelling through the tears at Jesus, “If you had been here my brother wouldn’t have died,” I have to admit, I read on expecting Jesus to rebuke her. I expected him to say, “Get up woman. Do you not trust me?” or, “Look what I can do?” and then *poof* Lazarus wakes up. And then we can cue a sweet little monologue or parable about trusting the Son of God.
But Jesus does just about the opposite of what I expect. As my wondrous God so often does. He doesn’t try to get her to stop crying; he doesn’t scold her for falling apart or tell her she should have known better. He doesn’t criticize her for having hormones or being an emotional woman. Instead, He, the man who knew exactly how the story would end, who actually could have been disappointed by her tears—treats her with compassion and tender love.
What he does can all be summed up in two beautiful words. Probably the shortest, most poignant verse in the Bible, “Jesus wept.” John 11:35.
Jesus isn’t weeping for Lazarus; he knows he’ll raise him soon. He’s weeping for Mary. He’s weeping because she’s heart-broken and confused. He weeps for her and with her because he knows how difficult it is for her to understand him.
So many Christians think they fail miserably if they show sadness, pain, or weakness. As if Jesus would treat us any differently than he treats Mary here. We think that we can’t cry because we’re supposed to be a testimony to others. That “God won’t give us anything we can’t handle.” And so we play God and when we fall apart we place an extra layer of guilt upon are already heavy hearts. Jesus refuses to do this to Mary.
Mary didn’t hide her disappointment with Jesus. She didn’t try to appear brave when she wasn’t. She fell at his feet in vulnerable desperation, and it led to a moment that bonded her to Jesus in a way most of the onlooker’s couldn’t even imagine.
In the end, Jesus does raise Lazarus from the dead, and it’s an amazing miracle. But, I still think the greater miracle is what is done in the shadow, in Mary. I think the greater miracle is the lesson that no matter when Jesus comes, he’s never too late.
He may come and save a loved one at the last minute as he did when Abraham drew the sword to take Isaac’s life. He may come four days “late,” resurrecting something we’d given up on. Something we thought was long since dead.
But rest assured, He’s never too late.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Friday, January 22, 2010
You are my desire.
"Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4
Most people pray through verses like this as a means to justify their own selfish desires. They ask for something in His name (even good, Godly things), and then wonder why God doesn't seem to be delivering. He promised, right?
What most people forget is that when you delight yourself in the Lord, your desires change. You may not get what you originally ask for, but if you look real close, God does give us the desires of our hearts.
What if instead of praying for the things we so desperately want, we pray to delight in the Lord? What if instead of getting angry at God when our prayers seem to go unanswered, we pray for him to change our desires?
I fail to do this so often because my feelings seem too real. They're just how I feel, God can't change that. But my God is big. And He can change anything.
Most people pray through verses like this as a means to justify their own selfish desires. They ask for something in His name (even good, Godly things), and then wonder why God doesn't seem to be delivering. He promised, right?
What most people forget is that when you delight yourself in the Lord, your desires change. You may not get what you originally ask for, but if you look real close, God does give us the desires of our hearts.
What if instead of praying for the things we so desperately want, we pray to delight in the Lord? What if instead of getting angry at God when our prayers seem to go unanswered, we pray for him to change our desires?
I fail to do this so often because my feelings seem too real. They're just how I feel, God can't change that. But my God is big. And He can change anything.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Putting the Hole in Holy
This weekend I finished reading Genesis. I love the characters in Genesis, and I love all the stories. Although I’m always a little taken back by the dysfunction of the first family. I read about Sarah and Hagar and Leah and Rachel and can’t help but think I’ve stumbled across the script for next week’s “Desperate Housewives.” While I know the culture was far different then, my heart still breaks as I read story after story about sibling rivalry, murders, mistresses, bitter envy, and affairs.
And then we get to Joseph. When I think about my own pain, it’s sometimes humbling to think of Joseph and what he went through. Being thrown in a pit and sold by his own brothers would be enough to make most of us give up. But then he goes to prison, framed for a crime he didn’t commit. And after interpreting a dream for Pharaoh’s cupbearer, he’s forgotten again. Left imprisoned for two more years.
Tragedies happen, bad things happen to good people, and at the end of the day, most people are left asking God one question, “Why?”
Can this be God’s plan?
When things are going great it’s easy to fully trust in God’s goodness and grace, it’s when he doesn’t hand us life on a silver platter that what we really believe about God comes to the surface.
When something goes wrong or life fails to go as we planned, I’ll be the first to admit that I often put God in a box. I stop believing He’s big enough to handle my problems. But how can I fully trust God if I believe He randomly vacates His throne? Or if God’s goodness can’t break through the darkness of my world, if there are pockets of my life outside of God’s grasp? If these things are true, then I can’t really count on Him.
This was a convicting truth to stumble across a few days ago. I do believe God is all powerful, that He can stop all pain, but that doesn’t mean He always does. God’s plan makes sense on paper. But then, paper goes up in smoke when a fire starts.
The world is not just an everlasting game of teeter-totter where sometimes Satan wins and sometimes God wins. Society tells us that life is about cause and effect. If you work hard, are a good person, pay taxes, and exercise daily you’ll reap the benefits of such. You’ll be wealthy, healthy, and happy. But recessions happen. A healthy weight-conscious runner can get lung cancer. Loving parents can have children who experiment with drugs and worse. When these sort of unexplainable disturbances come up, we’re quick to blame Satan.
This is what most people think about Job. Satan, tricksy little man he is, questioned Job’s loyalty to God. He believed Job’s faith was selfish, and that it wouldn’t hold up if God weren’t blessing Him. (I’m sad to admit this seemed to be the case with my own faith). In Job, Satan doesn’t win. God does. God allows Satan to do test Job’s faith.
So, through a series of unfortunate events, Job’s ten children are killed, he loses his home, develops painful sores, and is even at odds with his own friends and wife. But, Satan’s plan backfires. When most people in the world would throw up their hands in defeat, Job simply leans on God all the more. You see, the central theme of the book is not what Satan’s doing, it’s what God’s doing. The plan that falls apart is Satan’s, not God’s.
Elisabeth Elliot says it well, "The problem starts when we make up our own minds what will give us happiness and then decide, if we don't get exactly that, that God doesn't love us... He will not necessarily protect us - not from anything it takes to make us more like his Son."
God is in charge, and not even Satan can touch us without his permission, but when he does have permission, God is there to work through Satan’s schemes to accomplish good for us.
Most people then feel relieved when Job’s suffering seems to come to an end and he is rewarded. In the last chapter of the book, Job’s wealth is doubled and his wife gives birth to ten children. But rewards and happy endings aren’t the point. Having ten more children does not take away the searing loss of the first ten. In some ways, Job will always suffer. But as Jerry Bridges so eloquently puts it, “God never wastes pain. He always uses it to accomplish his purpose. And his purpose is for his glory and our good.”
Job’s story and reaction to his hardships is similar to Joseph. Job wrestles with God, sure, but just like Joseph, he never gives up hope. Never walks away from God. Never stops trusting him. Job could echo Joseph’s words in Genesis 50:20, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good.”
Sometimes bad things do happen. Sometimes life doesn’t make sense. Sometimes Satan harms us. Sometimes other people do. Sometimes we bring about our own pain. What I do know is that it is never too much for God.
And what I now know is when I ask the question, “God, where are you? Is this really your plan for my life?” it’s my way of saying, “God, I don’t trust you, and I don’t love you as much when you’re not blessing me.”
What a great lesson to learn! When things go bad and I’m broken in pieces, or full of holes, I tend to think it’s my right to be angry with God and demand an explanation. Now I know, when I’m broken or full of holes, it’s the perfect opportunity to take a step back and see what I really believe about God.
What I believe now is that He is good, I love him. And I would rather be hole-y with Him, than wholly without.
And then we get to Joseph. When I think about my own pain, it’s sometimes humbling to think of Joseph and what he went through. Being thrown in a pit and sold by his own brothers would be enough to make most of us give up. But then he goes to prison, framed for a crime he didn’t commit. And after interpreting a dream for Pharaoh’s cupbearer, he’s forgotten again. Left imprisoned for two more years.
Tragedies happen, bad things happen to good people, and at the end of the day, most people are left asking God one question, “Why?”
Can this be God’s plan?
When things are going great it’s easy to fully trust in God’s goodness and grace, it’s when he doesn’t hand us life on a silver platter that what we really believe about God comes to the surface.
When something goes wrong or life fails to go as we planned, I’ll be the first to admit that I often put God in a box. I stop believing He’s big enough to handle my problems. But how can I fully trust God if I believe He randomly vacates His throne? Or if God’s goodness can’t break through the darkness of my world, if there are pockets of my life outside of God’s grasp? If these things are true, then I can’t really count on Him.
This was a convicting truth to stumble across a few days ago. I do believe God is all powerful, that He can stop all pain, but that doesn’t mean He always does. God’s plan makes sense on paper. But then, paper goes up in smoke when a fire starts.
The world is not just an everlasting game of teeter-totter where sometimes Satan wins and sometimes God wins. Society tells us that life is about cause and effect. If you work hard, are a good person, pay taxes, and exercise daily you’ll reap the benefits of such. You’ll be wealthy, healthy, and happy. But recessions happen. A healthy weight-conscious runner can get lung cancer. Loving parents can have children who experiment with drugs and worse. When these sort of unexplainable disturbances come up, we’re quick to blame Satan.
This is what most people think about Job. Satan, tricksy little man he is, questioned Job’s loyalty to God. He believed Job’s faith was selfish, and that it wouldn’t hold up if God weren’t blessing Him. (I’m sad to admit this seemed to be the case with my own faith). In Job, Satan doesn’t win. God does. God allows Satan to do test Job’s faith.
So, through a series of unfortunate events, Job’s ten children are killed, he loses his home, develops painful sores, and is even at odds with his own friends and wife. But, Satan’s plan backfires. When most people in the world would throw up their hands in defeat, Job simply leans on God all the more. You see, the central theme of the book is not what Satan’s doing, it’s what God’s doing. The plan that falls apart is Satan’s, not God’s.
Elisabeth Elliot says it well, "The problem starts when we make up our own minds what will give us happiness and then decide, if we don't get exactly that, that God doesn't love us... He will not necessarily protect us - not from anything it takes to make us more like his Son."
God is in charge, and not even Satan can touch us without his permission, but when he does have permission, God is there to work through Satan’s schemes to accomplish good for us.
Most people then feel relieved when Job’s suffering seems to come to an end and he is rewarded. In the last chapter of the book, Job’s wealth is doubled and his wife gives birth to ten children. But rewards and happy endings aren’t the point. Having ten more children does not take away the searing loss of the first ten. In some ways, Job will always suffer. But as Jerry Bridges so eloquently puts it, “God never wastes pain. He always uses it to accomplish his purpose. And his purpose is for his glory and our good.”
Job’s story and reaction to his hardships is similar to Joseph. Job wrestles with God, sure, but just like Joseph, he never gives up hope. Never walks away from God. Never stops trusting him. Job could echo Joseph’s words in Genesis 50:20, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good.”
Sometimes bad things do happen. Sometimes life doesn’t make sense. Sometimes Satan harms us. Sometimes other people do. Sometimes we bring about our own pain. What I do know is that it is never too much for God.
And what I now know is when I ask the question, “God, where are you? Is this really your plan for my life?” it’s my way of saying, “God, I don’t trust you, and I don’t love you as much when you’re not blessing me.”
What a great lesson to learn! When things go bad and I’m broken in pieces, or full of holes, I tend to think it’s my right to be angry with God and demand an explanation. Now I know, when I’m broken or full of holes, it’s the perfect opportunity to take a step back and see what I really believe about God.
What I believe now is that He is good, I love him. And I would rather be hole-y with Him, than wholly without.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
You're God, and I'm not
For far too long, probably years now, my motives for studying and reading the Bible have been self-centered. I don't think there's anything wrong with looking for application in the God's Word, in fact I think that's an integral part of reading the Bible. But that's all I was ever looking for. I wanted encouragement and nourishment for myself. To have faith and to see how big God is, I needed to see His hand at work in my life. I needed MY prayers answered. As heart-breaking as it is to see now, I haven't been looking for God at all. I've just been looking for ways to make life better for me.
Even when I seek and use the Word to help others my motives are selfish. Yes, I want to help them and encourage them by pointing them to the Lord, knowing and believing He is the only one who can truly heal a broken heart, but I'm sad to admit that I think that desire comes second me wanting them to realize that I helped them.
Realizing all of this, it seems almost a wonder to me that God has accomplished anything through such a sinful creature.
But then, God is a wonder. And I am certainly not powerful enough to obstruct God's plan.
God does not wait for perfect conditions to advance his purposes. Paul speaks to this in his letter to the Philippians, reminding us, that whether through false motives or true, he rejoices that the gospel was preached (Phil 1:18). If the evil of a fallen world or the shortcomings of sinful hearts could obstruct God's progress, then He wouldn't be God! God always accomplishes his plan... in spite of me.
A great example of this is King Nebuchadnezzar. He terrorized God's people, destroyed the temple, overthrew Judah, torturing and executing whoever he pleased. And even he was not too far gone. God destroyed even his evil pride and even Nebuchadnezzar fell to his knees in humility before the God of the universe.
I pray that I will stop living and acting with selfish ambitions, but that I will do everything in life with the sole purpose of glorifying God.
-----
"At the end of the days I, Nebuchadnezzar, lifted my eyes to heaven, and my reason returned to me, and I blessed the Most High, and praised and honored him who lives forever,
for his dominion is an everlasting dominion, and his kingdom endures from generation to generation; all the inhabitants of the earth are accounted as nothing, and he does according to his will among the host of heaven and among the inhabitants of the earth; and none can stay his hand or say to him, "What have you done?"
At the same time my reason returned to me, and for the glory of my kingdom, my majesty and splendor returned to me. My counselors and my lords sought me, and I was still established in my kingdom, and still more greatness was added to me. Now I, Nebuchadnezzar, praise and extol and honor the King of heaven, for all his works are right and his ways are just; and those who walk in pride he is able to humble." Daniel 4:34-37
Lord, I pray you will continually remind me I cannot do this on my own. Strip me of all my pride, and all my selfish desires. Help me to rest knowing it is you that restores others hearts and hope, not I. Help me to find peace in you, knowing I cannot destroy your plan for myself or others. And when I seek your word or seek you in prayer, help me to do it for your glory, not my own.
Even when I seek and use the Word to help others my motives are selfish. Yes, I want to help them and encourage them by pointing them to the Lord, knowing and believing He is the only one who can truly heal a broken heart, but I'm sad to admit that I think that desire comes second me wanting them to realize that I helped them.
Realizing all of this, it seems almost a wonder to me that God has accomplished anything through such a sinful creature.
But then, God is a wonder. And I am certainly not powerful enough to obstruct God's plan.
God does not wait for perfect conditions to advance his purposes. Paul speaks to this in his letter to the Philippians, reminding us, that whether through false motives or true, he rejoices that the gospel was preached (Phil 1:18). If the evil of a fallen world or the shortcomings of sinful hearts could obstruct God's progress, then He wouldn't be God! God always accomplishes his plan... in spite of me.
A great example of this is King Nebuchadnezzar. He terrorized God's people, destroyed the temple, overthrew Judah, torturing and executing whoever he pleased. And even he was not too far gone. God destroyed even his evil pride and even Nebuchadnezzar fell to his knees in humility before the God of the universe.
I pray that I will stop living and acting with selfish ambitions, but that I will do everything in life with the sole purpose of glorifying God.
-----
"At the end of the days I, Nebuchadnezzar, lifted my eyes to heaven, and my reason returned to me, and I blessed the Most High, and praised and honored him who lives forever,
for his dominion is an everlasting dominion, and his kingdom endures from generation to generation; all the inhabitants of the earth are accounted as nothing, and he does according to his will among the host of heaven and among the inhabitants of the earth; and none can stay his hand or say to him, "What have you done?"
At the same time my reason returned to me, and for the glory of my kingdom, my majesty and splendor returned to me. My counselors and my lords sought me, and I was still established in my kingdom, and still more greatness was added to me. Now I, Nebuchadnezzar, praise and extol and honor the King of heaven, for all his works are right and his ways are just; and those who walk in pride he is able to humble." Daniel 4:34-37
Lord, I pray you will continually remind me I cannot do this on my own. Strip me of all my pride, and all my selfish desires. Help me to rest knowing it is you that restores others hearts and hope, not I. Help me to find peace in you, knowing I cannot destroy your plan for myself or others. And when I seek your word or seek you in prayer, help me to do it for your glory, not my own.
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