When I was younger I had a very odd habit of judging people in the Bible.
This first happened when I was reading about Hagar. The worldly side of me saw her as “the other woman.” I didn’t like her. She slept with another woman’s husband and that was enough for me. She deserved the scorn she got from Sarah.
In Bible study we’ve spent the past semester looking at various women in the Bible and at the end of the study (last week) we were asked to pick our favorite. And it was no question for me. I loved their stories, and was challenged and convicted by all of them, all of the women's weaknesses, disobedience, obedience, and faith. But Hagar stuck out to me the most. Maybe it was guilt for thinking so little of her for so long, but Hagar’s story has quickly become one of my all-time Bible favorites. Here’s why…
Hagar was mysterious. And her story doesn’t make sense.
You see, with Hagar, the only way to see her is to understand that she was invisible. Hagar was a slave, which means no one knows anything about her. Nobody knows where she came from (although some believe Gen 12:16 shows she may have been given to Abraham by Pharaoh), who her mother was, how she became a slave. Nothing. She was utterly alone. Once sold into slavery she lost her friends and family. She lost all those who had been a witness to her life. She literally became invisible.
I judged Hagar for the sin of sleeping with a married man, not giving a second thought to the fact that as a slave she could not have denied Sarah’s request to bear Abraham a child. As a servant, even her body was not her own. Invisible.
--I think it’s also important to note (although it doesn’t go with my invisibility motif) that while it was culturally acceptable for Sarah to “take” Hagar and “give” her to Abraham, this does not seem to be acceptable in God’s eyes. Biblical scholar Carolyn Custis James shrewdly points out that the language in this exchange matches that of the scenario in Eden when Eve “takes” the apple and “gives” it to Adam.--
Hagar becomes pregnant and then scorns Sarah. She does sin here. There’s no doubt. After being invisible her whole life Hagar becomes prideful knowing that she now has some social standing bearing Abraham’s offspring. And her pride then sets off Sarah, who lashes back in a violent rage. But Sarah takes no responsibility for her own wrongdoing throughout the story. Hagar’s sin does not go unnoticed, but Hagar herself still does. Fearing for her life she runs into the dark wilderness and fades into the black. Invisible once more.
Then, things change. The angel of the Lord found Hagar (Gen 16:7), proving the truth in Paul’s later words “there is neither Jew nor Gentile, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus” (Galatians 3:28). (Hagar was a Gentile, a slave, and a woman). And he said to her, “Hagar, servant of Sarai, where have you come from, and where are you going?” (Gen 16:8). Not even Sarah or Abraham would call her by name, and here the angel of the Lord does. She isn’t invisible anymore.
And here’s my second favorite part of the whole story. God calls her to go back to Sarah. This had to be a terrifying command to Hagar. She didn’t just run away for the fun of it, she fled Sarah in fear of her life, and here God calls her to return. What a humbling reminder that sometimes God calls us to do things that go against the grain of our own hearts. Going back doesn’t make sense. And that’s what I love about our God and living for Him. Following God sometimes means living in ways that don’t make sense to the rest of the world. Sometimes it means returning to difficult and uncertain situations in faith, when the rest of the world tells you you’re crazy and that it’s unsafe. Some call it stupid, I call it brave.
Hagar then becomes the first (and only) person in all of scripture to name God, El Roi, “The God who sees me.” She may have been invisible to the rest of the world, but she was not invisible to God.
And my favorite part. God not only calls, Hagar listens. She returns to Sarah, the same woman who threatened her life, the woman who had wronged her more than probably anyone else in her life. A life of slavery and in her first free act Hagar chooses to obey God.
So why send her back? God was blessing Hagar. The answer is found in one of my favorite quotes, “God doesn’t call us to himself without also calling us to his people. It is a mixed blessing for all of us, for the church isn’t always the safest place. The people there aren’t necessarily the ones we would choose for our friends, and sadly, some of our most painful wounds come from our relationships with other believers. But these are the people we need and who also need us. We come to know God better and grow stronger as Christians when we are joined to the community of his people and we work together to know him.”
It’s easy to run away from our problems. As a counselor-in-training I see this all the time. Most people would rather avoid pain than face it. They'd rather stay in the wilderness than return to a friend, family member, roommate, or discipler who hurt them. As Christians we do it, too. Rather than reconciling when a loved one wounds us, too often we turn our backs and walk away. Hell-bent on vengeance rather than heaven-sent forgiveness. I love the example Hagar gives us to help foster true Christian community, I love that she follows God above her own feelings and fears.
And I love that it doesn’t matter that in the end she is sent away by Sarah a second time. Some may question, “Why did God want her to return to Sarah only to be sent away a second time? The Lord finds her weeping in the wilderness once more, isn’t that cruel?” No. Following God doesn’t mean we won’t have pain, or heart ache, or that we won’t weep. It just means it will be worth it.
If we make our decisions in life based off the fear of getting hurt, we're living selfishly. We should make our decisions in light of what is most glorifying to God, not most glorifying to ourselves.
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In selfish pride, I’ve spent a good deal of my life wishing people saw me. I pray to follow Hagar’s example and find satisfaction and delight in God alone. Not in the approval of men, but in the approval of God. El Roi. The God who sees me. Nobody else's eyes matter. Not even my own, after all, Hagar was invisible to me at first, too.
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