Stop Dating the Church

After months of church shopping, I finally found a church I can call home! Each Sunday morning I've been cascading through Bloomington searching for a new church. And today was that day. It was like stepping onto your future college campus for the first time, when you just KNOW that you're in the right place. As soon as I sat down I had that peaceful feeling in my heart that I had arrived. Through the people I met, the worship, the pastor, and the vision, I knew I was as close to home as I'm going to get here on earth. Before the sermon was over I caught myself already excited to come back next week. Praise God!

I came here planning to share the sermon and spread Pastor Matt's amazing wisdom and heart for his church, The Foot of the Cross, but that will have to wait until tomorrow. Because as I've learned over the months, it's hard to find so much joy in finding a good church until you know what a good church is. So here goes:

Some time this winter I became very interested in Church. And not just going to church, I became interested in why we go to church. I love spending my Sunday mornings worshipping and learning, and spending time in my Father's house, but I discovered that even this was founded in selfishness. I liked it because of what it did for me. Yes it's great to praise God and learn about His character, but I never took the time to stop and ask why God created the church. I knew the Sunday school answers. For fellowship, for community, to form a body of believers to come together and worship God together, because it's the Sabbath, etc.

All those things are great and true, but I wanted to know more. I'd been unsatisfied at my home church and spent a good year church shopping when it dawned on me that I wasn't sure Biblically what I was shopping for.

I had so many questions. What is the role of church? What is church doctrine? Church discipline? How are para-churches different from churches? What is God's purpose for the church in our lives and in society? I could go on and on.

So I studied. I sought wise counsel, searched for verses and Bible stories for answers (Paul was very helpful), read some chapters in Systematic Theology, and finally ended my study with one of my new favorite books, "Stop Dating the Church."

Joshua Harris spends this short book explaining the problems with Christians and the church today. Too many people date the church and won't commit to it. Nobody wants to be a member anymore. As soon as something goes wrong; the pastor makes a comment you don't like, the worship leader changes, the Bible study topics aren't good one semester, and everyone leaves. We date churches, we don't commit to them and make them our bride like Christ did.

Joshua doesn't discount the importance of searching for a good home church, but he cautions people against searching for too long, or for being so willing to leave at the first sign of trouble. When it comes to church we're all a bunch of commitment-phobes.

He uses plenty of scripture to back up his points, which I sadly cannot re-iterate here as I've talked the book up so much to my friends that it's lent out and has a waiting list, but I remember one scripture reference that particularly struck me.

"And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near." Hebrews 10:24-25

The author of Hebrews expresses concern for this church, reminding them to meet together so they can encourage one another, stirring each other up in love.

Joshua argues that many Christians today go to church to be fed. They want teaching for themselves. They want to be convicted. It's not that those are bad things, but if that's our only reason we're going to church, for ourselves, then we're missing the point in why God created the church. If that's what we're looking for, I could listen to a Mark Driscoll sermon each Sunday morning from the safety and comfort of my own home. Or worse, I could listen to it as a podcast while I run and say I went to church for the week. (I'm not saying listening to extra sermons is bad or wrong, I do it as much as I can, I'm simply saying that isn't church)

God didn't send His Son to lay down His life for a Podcast, He experienced torture at the hand of man for His bride, the church, so that we didn't have to be isolated and worship in secret anymore. His sacrifice was so we could meet together, in genuine fellowship and love. So we could come as one body and experience from each other a small glimpse of His heavenly affection for us.

But how many of us go to church selflessly, with the hope and aim of feeding and encouraging those in the seats next to us? I'd argue most of us keep to the people we came with and hardly exchange more than a pleasant smile or maybe a polite name-swap with our neighbors. We don't see the others around us as brothers, sisters, and allies.

Seriously, think of one person you met through your church that you have a relationship with today. You know there name, and you have real, genuine conversations with them. You've either met up with them outside of church, or you've prayed with them. Something. Anything...

I don't know about you, but I struggled to come up with a single name.

Now, fellowship isn't the only reason for church. Joshua explains a few other important aspects of church attendance, that's just the one that hit me. From there, he offers some helpful suggestions for what to look for in a church. He narrowed down the list to three main things to look for, what I call the "holy trinity" of churches. (I hope that wasn't super heretical...). Worship, Teaching, and Community.

Those three things don't have to carry equal weight. They should all be present, but by knowing how we relate to the Lord and how we best connect with Him it is up to us to determine which of these things are the most important to us, and to choose a church accordingly.

Take me for example. I began attending a church in December where I absolutely LOVED the teaching. It was incredible. I walked away each week with pages upon pages of notes, usually armed with new material I could interlace with my weekly Bible study. It was great. The problem was, after a few months, I stopped getting excited for church. I hadn't met a single person there, and could not get over their awkward worship music. I wanted to see past the mediocre singing. I should empathize with them, I'm as tone deaf as they come, but music is too important to my connection with God. I am normally a pretty quiet person who is happy just listening, but when it comes to praising my Father I want to shout at the top of my lungs. I couldn't do that there.

The truth is, in committing to a church like we commit to a real bride or groom. We will never find perfection. That is only in Christ. Churches are built by men's hands and upon man's ideas. Still, there are great Godly men out there pastoring incredibly Christ-centered churches. So find one and commit to it, and not just for yourself. Commit to it also for it's other members. You have gifts to offer them and the church.

Christ loves You so much that He died for you... but not just for you. He died for the person sitting next to you this morning, too.